4 years and 14 things I’ve learned

I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I moved into an apartment in Astoria with one of my friends from Boston and some random roomie on this day four years ago.

4 YEARS. A lot can happen in four years.

I can’t really sum up the craziness of the last four years but I’m going to try.  I’ve edited and re-edited and ultimately deleted my original draft of this post.

So let’s focus on all the things I’ve learned (in no order whatsoever):

14) Expect the unexpected. 

Something always happens when I least expect it. You can meet your new best friend at a networking event. Or get job offer to run the social media for a start-up. Maybe a date from a fundraiser gala? Maybe picking up running as a hobby – let alone 15 half marathons and 2 marathons? Maybe starting a blog that somehow gets you into some amazing events, new products, even some awesome friends?

Or a surprise burlesque show at a yelp event? Who knows?

back when I had Yelp Elite status

13) Be direct.

I mean very direct. I have no problem being direct with judges over my cases and clients but when it comes to dealing with things I want, it’s a whole other story. I can “beat around the bush.”  I was discussing a scholarship offer with a law school and they just straight up said, “what is it that you want? just say it.”

I asked a crush out a few months ago and he blew me off (I have never done this but my gut was telling me to).  Except after the past few weeks, I’m thinking he had no idea I asked him out.

Like I said…. I’m working on being more direct.

12) Famous people are just like you.

They like brunch and spin class just like you. The one I freaked out most about: Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds at a brunch place in Alphabet City. I was on a brunch date and the guy I was with (who ran marathons, which at the time I thought was weird) noticed them. I freaked out and he basically told me to calm down.

Clearly, there was no second date.

11) You are not above a side hustle.

When I moved to the city, it was weeks after I got my master’s degree. I had been interviewing everywhere and anywhere for a “real job” for months. To make ends meet, I picked up hostessing again and hated it. After a particularly bad night, I quit the job. Luckily, 3 days later a full-time job offer came through.

After things quieted down with my job, I had a bit more free time to explore other things. I picked up a remote social media manager job. I didn’t know much about social media but that was the catalyst for this blog and a great talking point for a bunch of legal internship interviews I had gone on.

you need coffee if you’re gonna hustle

10) Bagels become an essential part of your diet. 

I probably had one too many when I moved here, which led to me learning to love running.

bagels are artwork in NYC

9) Living with a filmmaker means lots of shoots in your apartment.

It also means their friends will sleep on your couch for free and eat all your food and alcohol.  They will ultimately understand that this is not okay when you throw their things out the window.

8) The city is smaller than you think. 

I went to SUP yoga a few weeks ago and it turns out one of the other ladies is an attorney who worked with an old coworker of mine. I went on a date with a teacher this summer and turns out he taught at the same school as another friend of mine. I went running in Manhattan and ran into friends there on a path I don’t ever run on. A friend I trained with dated a former high school friend of mine.

Let’s just say its a small world despite the size of the city.

7) Fear is fine, just don’t let it get in your way.

For the first year or so that I lived in NYC, I rarely dated or went out of my way to make friends outside of work. What I’m regretting right now is that I spent a long time just being afraid of a lot of things: law school, relationships, dating, etc.  NYC seemed like a really scary city so I just stayed in my bubble for a long time.

Then I’m slowly getting over it and embracing the fear. Like swimming in the Hudson River.

After the NYC Triathlon!

6) Be present.

I space out sometimes. Yesterday I ordered an iced latte and walked out of the cafe without my latte.  FAIL.  I’m consistently trying to pay more attention to people and things around and in front of me.  There’s nothing more infuriating than saying “wait you were there?”

I could have met my former boyfriend at a conference months and months before I actually met him but I didn’t. Also, focusing on one thing at a time has really helped my productivity the past few weeks. Lastly, yoga realllllllly helps me focus.

5) Don’t make excuses for what you want/feel/or think.

We already had this conversation about going with your gut. However, I find myself justifying my life choices whether its law school or running or my job or being or not being in a relationship. I’m trying not to do this anymore. I just need to own what I’m doing.

4) Nature is awesome. 

Since moving to the city, I have a new found love of all things trees and fall and any outdoorsy activity. I actually think it started when I moved to Boston immediately after college as Boston was the first real city I had lived in.

3) Sunglasses and headphones on the subway is not enough to keep tourists away.

The whole point of wearing sunglasses and headphones on a cloudy winter day is to keep people from talking to me but apparently I still look very approachable.

2) Living with your SO because of the rent is a terrible idea. 

Rent is expensive. NYC rent is ridiculous. I feel like NYC forces a lot of relationships to do this out of convenience and rationality but its just a terrible idea if its just for rent sake.

1) Surround yourself with good people. 

I fully support this quote.

City life is tough and it’s even tougher if you don’t have the right people around, whether that’s professional or personal or whatever.  People who don’t positively support the craziness that is my life have no place being in it. Luckily, I have awesome people on all fronts (hi friends and coworkers and classmates :D).

I finally feel like I’m hitting my stride.  I have a strong network of people and friends and family in the city. One that I didn’t really have when I moved here.

So here’s to another 4 years of following my heart, listening to my gut, and chasing down some ridiculous goals with surrounded by some awesome people.

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