Greetings from Asia! I’m currently in the Hong Kong airport waiting for my flight to Manila. So I’ve been drafting and editing then deleting then writing some more because I’m trying to figure out how I feel about 2016…. Regardless, it’s Here’s my old ones: 2014, 2015, 2016.
So nothing really happened in 2016. I started off the year as a full time law student. Ending the year the same way. I’m living in the same apartment I lived in back on January 1st. I still have the same friends that I had back in January. Started the year off single and ending the year the same way…..
So basically nothing has happened, right?
Except I changed.
At the beginning of the year, I said I wanted 2016 to be the year of balance and consistency, a better theme would be “expect the unexpected.” Because from start to finish, everything that has happened did happen. And none of it, I saw coming.
If 2015 was the year of life changes, 2016 was the year of major personal growth.
It’s hard to say that when you’re in the day to say grind. But the changes are there. I’m much more comfortable in trial settings to the point where I really love doing it. I’m much more upfront with people and myself than I have been in the past.
As one of my guy friends said to me recently, “there’s nothing worse than pursuing your pride over your love.” His point was don’t make decisions based on pain and a hurt ego. Too many people do that and it hurts themselves the most in the long run. So I’m being more honest with myself and they why and how I do the things I do. It sounds easy enough but sometimes your head, heart and gut are on different pages and it feels impossible to reconcile those differences.
And if you don’t think you’ve grown as a person, just talk to someone from the past and you’ll realize that you’ve come a long way.
First of all, I found myself face to face with an ex from a loooooooong time ago. In the words of Taylor Swift “I’ve got one thing stuck in my mind, wondering if I dodged a bullet or if I just lost the love of my life” Definitely dodged a bullet there lmao (but seriously, rumors have him still up to the same ole shady stuff). Seeing him made I realized I’ve grown so much. Back then I ran away from my feelings all the time. I would push down the emotional part and not say what I really felt. I let my pride get the best of me. Now I’m much better about communicating (I think a lot of that can be attributed to law school).
Secondly, I recently found myself sitting next to a “friend” from my past in a bar. I’ll say friend loosely since they showed up and then left in the last two months of 2015. I hadn’t seen or spoken to them in over a year. No social media contact – nothing.
A full year had gone by. Nothing big had happened. We were both surviving in our respective fields. We still both lived in NYC. We both kept doing the things we were doing last year.
But something was different and I realized it was both of us. We were both better people. It made for a better dynamic. I didn’t realize how much I had changed until then. Plus it was a reminder that good or bad, everything eventually works out for the best.
So as much as I love goal setting, I don’t have a new year’s resolution. The goals have been set for me: graduate and pass the Bar Exam. We don’t need to add anymore to this list, it’s quite the handful as it is. But if anything, I’ll say that I will absolutely try to enjoy the ride and have fun. My last semester of law school and last semester of school EVER is coming up, so I just want to have fun.
In the words of Blair Waldorf (yes I’m still a huge GG fan), “Nothing’s holding me back anymore. I know what I want and I’m going to get it.”
Bye 2016, it’s been quite the shitshow. 2017, I’m so ready for you. Let’s do this.